I am 22. And definitely I am in the stage of the so-called Quarter-Life Crisis. People in this stage are usually from 20 to 25 years old. For the past year or so, I was already thinking what would happen to me after college? I was thinking of what career path to take. Will I be a corporate slave immediately after graduation day? Or will I bum around for a month or so and pursue my hobbies like engage myself in a photography workshop? Or will I be in the academic scene once again, being a teacher and a student at the same time? Well, it is really hard to choose. But which road will I take? Think about my passion first? Or think about the stability of my future? That’s indeed a difficult decision to make. Because the decision you will make now, will affect tomorrow.
But hey, I know that I can choose both.. a job that is my passion and rewarding at the same time. Now, my definite path would be to graduate first.
Well, the subject heading may remind you of the movie anti-trust but I do not refer to that one. Just this early afternoon, we were at our Mom’s place and we were watching The Last Samurai. Then I was asking for allowance and my brother goes, “Si Karla, di naman yan pumapasok eh.. di yan gumagawa ng thesis..” I do not care if it he meant it as a joke or not but then I know that it will build a not-so-good impression on my Mom. And so, I said, “Pumapasok naman ako ah.. sabi pa nga ng department head namin ang sipag daw namin kasi since summer nakikita nya kami sa school araw-araw”. After that, my Mom asked for the number of our Thesis adviser and I did not hesitate to give it to her.
Now tell me, is that a way to treat a 22-year-old? Instead of giving me a boost of my self-confidence it’s like I’m just being dragged down. They do not see my efforts at all. I myself know better that I am doing my best, working my ass (pardon for the term) off to graduate.
I know that I am one-term delayed. And I am aware that it is partly my fault and I have learned from it. We were delayed one term because the situation called for it. Choose from the following: (a) enrol MAPROJ3 (last part of thesis) and spend a lot of money for the whole thing to work and then later on fail or (b) drop MAPROJ3 and enrol it after the one-year OJT giving us ample time to change our topic and finish it. You cannot blame me why did I chose the latter since I am just being practical about it. And frankly, it is such a pain in the ass (sorry for the term again) if they would rant and rant that I should have marched this June and not 3 months after. They were ranting that I should not have my OJT in this company blah blah because the pay does not sound good to them. For me, I do not care about the pay. It was part of the strategy, my plan. The strategy was like this, I had my OJT there because I know that it would be beneficial for our thesis and even though I told my brother about it he disapproved of it and the same thing goes with my parents. I just hope that when I march wearing my Toga, I hope that they would realize that sometimes, there are decisions that I should be the one taking care of.
Whenever one is overwhelmed with such emotions such as love, everything can become a sign. One example could be texting each other the same time, thinking of the other person at this moment and the other person was also thinking of you at that very moment. Everything, even the simplest ones can become a sign. Sometimes, you just do not know if it is just you who are making the signs because the emotions tend to overpower you.
If you have read The Alchemist written by Paulo Coelho, there’s is a part where the boy was taught how to read omens and stuff and also the language of life. It was mentioned that we should learn to trust the language of life. That just makes me sigh.
Sigh… maybe you would find it funny if I told you that in one time, I heard music playing but there really is no music playing. I am not sure if it is just my imagination but I am very sure that I heard it right there and there. And I heard it beside that special one…
Rainy days = Sad days? Well, it’s not equal all the time. Maybe, it just so happened that you’re sad on those days and happy on sunny days. Remember when we were a bunch of little kiddos, we would sing Rain Rain Go Away because we cannot play our favorite patintero, cops and robbers and other outdoor games because our parents said that we will get sick. Oftentimes, we are tempted to play under the rain, some people I know would just laugh under the rain while each drop of water touches their skin.
When I was a little kid, we would make paper boats and let it float at the canal everytime the rain would stop. We would watch it being drawn away by the current from its original position.
When I got older, I hated the rain simply because it makes commuting harder. I remember on my first year college days, me and a couple of my friends are stranded at EDSA Taft because there are no more jeeps going to Bicutan just because of traffic. And of course, the traffic was an outcome of the rain. When there is a heavy rain, there is a flood (if and only if the drainage system is out of order), and the roads are slippery too which will require the vehicles to slow down to avoid accident. It’s sad to be stranded, and it’s sad to be stuck in traffic. So, what’s your weather forecast for tomorrow?
A friend once asked me, why does it have to end when there’s still love. Well, when one ends it, I say, it’s not but chance, but by choice. And the infamous question would then pop out, “Is Love by Chance or by Choice?” Well, this would sound familiar to you if you have received a forwarded e-mail regarding the said topic. Again, it depends on the other party if he or she would want the love to grow or just stop. And yes, it takes two to tango. If one is willing where the other is not, then nothing will really happen. Oh well, that’s life and yes, sometimes we are just blinded by the idea of forever because in reality nothing lasts forever. At some point, something will just stop unexpectedly.
When love ends, it is not the end of the world indeed. Time flies and you have to move on with it. You cannot be in the Pause Mode for a moment just because it hit and smashed you right there and there. Life’s like this, it is always in the Play Mode, running continuously, no pauses, no rewinds, or even forwards… only play and stop.
If you have heard of BOBONGPINOY.COM, then you may not have yet heard of BOBONGPINOY MAILING LIST. As of now, the BOBONGPINOY ML has reached over 1,000 members. I am their most recent lurker as of the moment.
Upon joining the mailing list, a set of house rules (THE BOBONGPINOY CONSTITUTION) was sent by the Moderator of this group. Below is the summary of the BP Constitution.
The BP Constitution (memory-friendly version):
1. Be interesting.
2. If you can’t be interesting, be funny.
3. If you can’t be funny, be courteous.
4. If you can’t be any of the three, shut up and let the others try.
It has been a long-time since I have seen the perfectly crescent-shaped moon. And the huge glow around it fascinates me. To you this may deem unimportant, but to me, it is important. Just by looking at it gives me this heavenly feeling. And yes, just by looking at it and feeling good afterwards is a reminder of how great God is.
I just love looking at the moon. And yes, it really feels good right after looking at it and yes, it’s one of my stress relievers (natural stress relievers that is).
Christian Ryan Garcia, born February 14, 1980, died May 3, 2004. Christian is known as Quackerz in the Grabeh.Com messageboards but I just call him Chris or people from the boards would call him Quack Quack. I remembered that I got to interact with him because of our common interest in blogging. We even exchanged links and his link still remains in the version 1 of rockersworld. I remembered that I was one of the first members of Grabeh.Com who welcomed him when he started his thread. It is sad that we were not able to interact that much in the boards and that we lost communication.
To Chris, I know that you’re in the after life already. I know that God takes good care of you there. You will always be remembered…